Searching for right, p.1
Searching for Right, page 1
Searching for Right
Brittney Holmes
www.urbanchristianonline.com
All copyrighted material within is Attributor Protected.
Table of Contents
Title Page
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25 - Brenda
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Reader Discussion Questions
UC HIS GLORY BOOK CLUB!
What We Believe:
Copyright Page
For all of my sister-friends who’ve seen me at my best and my worst, those who’ve allowed me into their lives to share unforgettable moments, those who’ve taught me things I never knew I’d learn, shown me things I never thought I’d see, and those who’ve loved me unconditionally.
Acknowledgments
As always, I’d like to give honor and praise to God—my Savior and keeper—for all He has done for me. Lord, I can’t thank you enough for all you have done for me and all you’ve given to me. Thank you for the blessings and life-long lessons that you’ve instilled in me. I pray that the words in this book connect to the souls of your young people and will guide them from wherever they are, to you. Thank you for this gift; I give it back to you.
To my parents, Jonathan Bellamy and Kendra Norman-Bellamy, thank you for being the great parents that you are. It’s because of you guys that I have grown into the young woman I am today. Both of you inspire me to live out my dreams and to touch the lives of everyone I come in contact with. I love you both.
To Jimmy Lee Holmes: Daddy, the legacy you left behind showed me what it means to be a genuine person and to give to others as much, if not more, than I receive. Thank you for living a life that would never let your memory die.
Crystal, my li’l sis, it still amazes me that you’re a young adult, experiencing college life, away from home. Believe it or not, I learn a lot from you. Despite our many tit for tats, we have many great experiences and stories to share with our kids later in life. Thank you for being a great sister.
To my grandparents, Bishop and Mrs. H.H. Norman, Mr. Jesse and Mrs. Dorothy Holmes, and the late Elder Clinton and Mrs. Willie Mae Bellamy, and the rest of my extended family (uncles, aunts, and cousins): I can always feel your prayers no matter where I go in life. Thank you for being the loving and supportive family that you are. I love each and every one of you.
To one of my bestest (yes, bestest) cousins ever, Terrence Wooten! You, along with mom, do a lot in order to make sure that my career stays intact. Thanks for always being there whenever, wherever, no matter what J.
To all of my friends at the University of Georgia—you know I wish I could name you all—you have made my college experience one to remember. Even though I’m graduating (yay!!!), the memories I have with my Bulldog family will never fade away. To my family within the Black Affairs Council, the National Association of Black Journalists, The Red & Black, Rocksprings Community Center (I love my kids!), and InfUSion magazine—thank you for cultivating me into the leader I am today.
To my sisters and sorors of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated (specifically the Zeta Psi Chapter at the University of Georgia, and even more specifically D.O.F.–Spring 2011), I absolutely love you ladies. We know what it means to be the scholar, the student leader, the socialite . . . always on the go and still keep it all together as if we have nothing going on. I’ve been through so much with you, D.O.F., that there’s nothing that could happen to break the bond that we share with one another. We may be sisters by choice, but what’s most important is that we are sisters for life. OO-OOP!
To all of my true friends, thank you for the listening ear, the laughter, the nights downtown, the all-nighters the evening before the test, the pep talks, etc. etc. You have been there for me for so many things and I pray that you’ll continue to remain the roots in growing tree of life. May God bless you all in your future endeavors . . . because I know we’ll all be successful!
To the Great Redan High School—faculty, staff, and students—I miss RHS so much! I appreciate the love and support I continue to receive from you.
To my Teach For America family: Thank you for making my transition to Jacksonville more welcoming than I could’ve ever imagined. To my new church family, Household of Faith Church and spiritual father Bishop Lewis Williams: it’s been a short time, but I already feel at home with my spiritual family. I look forward to growing in Christ under your care.
To those inspiration authors who’ve paved the way for me—thank you for being great role models in work and in life that I can look up to as I mature. Your literary works have inspired me beyond comprehension and I pray that my work is continuously blessed through you words.
To my publishers, Urban Books (Urban Christian), you have opened doors for me that I never would have imagined walking through. Thank you for aiding in the fruition of my dreams. Special appreciation goes out to my editor, Ms. Joylynn Jossel. Thank you for your openness, your keen eye and constructive criticism. Because of you, I have grown to understand my writing style and technique. Thank you for cultivating my creativity.
And finally, to my readers, this book will touch on everything from divorce to the taboo subject of student-teacher relationships, but I hope that in the midst of it all, you will understand that without God, peace, love, forgiveness nor hope is possible. It is my hope that as you turn the last page of this book you will know what it means to have God on your side as you search for right.
Chapter 1
Lauren
Lauren Hopewell walked down the senior hallway with her friends, Jayda, Danielle, and Brenda. They attracted deep, longing stares of approval from every guy in the hall and they loved the attention. The harmonious sway of their hips mesmerized the male eye and caused the green-eyed monster to come out in many females. The four girls reached their destination and entered the combinations to open their lockers.
Lauren was the leader of the pack and was considerably the most attractive. Her five foot seven shapely frame, brown eyes, and silky reddish brown hair, trimmed in an asymmetrical style, awarded her the admirable eye of several guys. But all those who tried gaining the title as Lauren’s boyfriend hardly ever succeeded.
Jayda Henderson was equally as tall, but much slimmer than her best friend. Her smooth, dark brown skin was her best physical feature and her dark brown eyes were labeled as mysterious. She had the potential to be the most outspoken of the group, but was known to usually keep her strong opinions to herself, unless she felt the need to speak out.
Danielle Brookes was slightly shorter than Lauren and Jayda, but more curvaceous than the two put together. Her inherited form received daily praises, but she never let the compliments get to her head.
Brenda Killian was the most flirtatious one out of the group. Her long blond hair stopped midway down her back, and her baby blue eyes were strikingly beautiful. Though her appearance caused many of her peers to stereotypically label her as the “dumb blonde,” Brenda constantly proved them wrong by attaining a 4.0 grade point average. She was smart, but she also loved the attention she received from the guys.
Growing up in a black neighborhood and attending predominately black schools throughout her life, Brenda found herself strongly attracted to African American males and found the males of her own race utterly “average looking.” She never felt out of place when hanging out with her black girlfriends, and when dating black males, the stares and comments she received from those she referred to as “haters” never fazed her.
The girls used the mirrors in their lockers to make sure their hair was intact and their faces were continuously flawless. They grabbed books for their first class and simultaneously closed their locker doors. As they began down the hall once more, Jarred—an average-height, considerably good-looking senior who had been after Lauren for some time but had yet to be given the time of day—blocked their path. His perseverance was slightly admired by Lauren, but his continuous attempts to pursue her were nothing less than annoying.
“Hey, Lauren.” Jarred greeted the leader of the group with a one-sided grin.
Lauren tried hard to suppress the loud sigh that had the potential to silence the entire hallway. “Hey, Jarred,” she greeted him evenly. She heard Jayda laughing softly behind her and could tell that they were thinking the same thing: this guy never gives up.
“I was wondering . . .” Jarred began before pausing dramatically, as was usual for his character. “I’m falling slightly behind in calculus. Can you give a brotha some of your precious time and tutor me?” His brown eyes playfully pleaded puppy-dog style.
Lauren laughed. “You’ve got the wrong one,” she told him and pointed toward Brenda. “Bre here is the math wiz, not me.”
Brenda gave Lauren a cold stare, signaling that if Jarred even approached her to ask her any type of question, math related or not, Lauren would owe her big time.
Jarred shook his head, to Brenda’s joy. “No, see, I would prefer if you’d tutor me.”
Lauren decided to play along and allow Jarred to think that he was actually getting somewhere with her this time. “Okay, Jarred, I’ll tutor you.” He began to smile, but she spoke again before the ends of his mouth could reach his eyes. “Here’s your first lesson: what is me plus you divided by my fist multiplied by your eye several times?” she asked with a scowl across her face.
Jarred’s expression revealed his confusion. “What? I don’t get it.”
“It’s a severely blackened eye, Jarred. Now I suggest you step out of my face before this problem is solved.”
Lauren could see the mounting anger in Jarred’s eyes as he walked away dejectedly for the millionth time in the last couple of months, but she felt no remorse for him. She knew she was much too good for him and felt that he should be aware of that. Having to humiliate him every time he approached her wasn’t a satisfaction for her, but if it was the only way he would learn to back off, then she had to do what she had to do.
“Lauren, that was cold, girl.” Danielle laughed as they began walking again.
Lauren shrugged and continued down the hall. Once the girls reached the commons area, they separated. Lauren and Jayda headed toward their history class, which was their favorite class because their teacher was a young, laid-back male who taught not through boring lectures, but through films and hands-on activities.
“Good morning, Mr. Sterling,” Lauren and Jayda sang as they sashayed into the empty classroom.
Sterling Daniels looked up from his work and smiled toward the two girls entering his room. “Good morning, ladies,” he greeted them smoothly. “The first as always, I see.”
The girls took their front-row seats and watched students fill the room, some entering the room just before the late bell rang.
“Morning, Mr. Sterling,” most of them greeted him. Sterling allowed his students to refer to him by his first name because he said being called Mr. Daniels made him feel as old as his father, who wasn’t even fifty yet.
From her seat, Lauren gazed at Sterling and almost laughed aloud as he tried to focus on his work and ignore her enticing stares, but she knew that her smile alone had a huge effect on his work ethic. Lauren was seventeen years old and Sterling was twenty-three, but that didn’t stop her from making several attempts to get him to notice her, and after a short time he had, but he hadn’t made any advances toward her. She knew why, of course, but she didn’t care that he was her teacher or that his job would be at stake if they were to get involved. All Lauren cared about was that in a few weeks she would be eighteen, making her legally available to do whatever she pleased.
Sterling looked up into Lauren’s brown eyes and held her stare for a fleeting moment before clearing his throat and standing from his seat. “How’s everyone doing this morning?”
The class gave various responses, but one sultry voice stood out among the rest, and Lauren watched as Sterling tried not to look in her direction. Jayda glanced at Lauren and both girls smiled knowingly.
Jayda leaned into Lauren and said, “Girl, you better leave that man alone before you run him out of this school.”
“He’s not going anywhere.” Lauren laughed. “He’s not even scared, just a little nervous, and that’s a good sign.” She returned her attention to Sterling, who had for only a moment been able to teach without distraction, but as soon as Lauren looked at him and crossed her smooth, shapely legs at the knee, he was once again fumbling over words.
By the end of the class, Sterling had been able to teach without becoming sidetracked by Lauren’s alluring gaze because the students had been into the lesson, asking several questions, and offering various opinions on the topic. When the bell rang, Lauren and Jayda waited for all the students to leave, as they did every day, and then walked up to Sterling’s desk.
“Mr. Sterling.”
Sterling watched the movements of her full lips as she spoke his name. “Yes, Lauren?” he asked, his voice cautious as if he were afraid of what she might say.
Lauren licked her lips slowly and asked, “I was wondering if you could help me out with chapter twenty-one’s work. I didn’t really understand what was going on.”
“Well, I do have an afterschool tutorial every Tuesday and Thursday. The class is usually full of students who basically want to me teach the entire lesson over again, just for enjoyment.”
Lauren shook her head. “I can’t stay after school.” She looked over at Jayda, who smiled. “We have cheerleading practice every afternoon. I was thinking that you could make a house call for this one?”
Sterling stood and his six foot five frame seemed more massive up close. Lauren gazed at the bulging muscles in his arms and almost whimpered out loud. He was a shade darker than Jayda, but his skin was just as smooth. His eyes were slightly lighter than the average brown, and their contrast to his skin tone only complemented his appearance.
Sterling looked toward Jayda. “Ms. Henderson, could you give us a minute?” His request caused Lauren to practically jump out of her skin.
Jayda only hesitated slightly before she walked out of the classroom and waited for Lauren outside of the door.
Sterling looked down at Lauren and said, “Lauren, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He moved toward the dry erase board and began cleaning it. “You know just as well as I that there is enough tension between you and me while in this classroom full of students. I don’t think I’d want to experience what it would be like with just the two of us.”
Lauren pretended to be clueless and shrugged her shoulders innocently. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mr. Sterling. I don’t feel any tension at all.”
Sterling laughed and looked toward Lauren. “Lauren, I’m not gonna lie.” He spoke softly as he grabbed her left hand, giving Lauren the opportunity to step closer to him. He smiled and lowered his voice to nearly a whisper. “I am attracted to you. You’re a beautiful, young woman and very mature for your age. You make me feel different from any woman I’ve ever been with and we’re not even together.”
His smile coupled with the endearing words caused Lauren’s heart to flutter. She’d never had a guy compliment her in such a way before; but this just wasn’t a guy, this was a man, and that made Lauren feel even better.
“But, Lauren, I’m your teacher,” he said as he released her hand. “And you’re my student. There’s too much on the line, namely my job and freedom.” He paused. “So our relationship must remain strictly professional.”
Lauren nodded as if she understood. “For now.” She smiled as she turned and walked out of the classroom, bypassing Sterling’s second-period students who were entering the class. Lauren barely noticed Jarred standing in the doorway as she joined Jayda and they walked to their next class.
Chapter 2
Brenda
Brenda turned around slightly to pass the stack of papers on to the person behind her, and smiled at him as he slowly took them out of her hands. He grinned and winked at her before passing the stack on.
“So what are we doing tonight?” he asked once he’d turned back toward the front.
Brenda laughed playfully. “Whatever.”
His eyebrows rose at her response as she turned back around and focused her attention on the lesson.
Brenda inwardly complimented her ability to keep her composure while speaking to her big-time crush, Zane Timbers. His smile caused her stomach to jumble into knots, while his caramel skin forced her to try her hardest to keep from running the palm of her hand down the side of his smooth face. His sometimes-hazel, sometimes-light brown eyes always smiled at her and made her feel warm inside. He had finally asked her out—well, he’d implied that a date was optional and that was good enough for Brenda. But she wondered if Zane finally taking notice of her was a good thing.
